


Lines in Skin and Soul

by Angelicat2



Series: Lines [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Blood and Injury, Depression, Hurt Keith (Voltron), Nightmares, Past Child Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Scared Shiro (Voltron), Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, Unreliable Narrator
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-05
Updated: 2019-11-05
Packaged: 2021-01-23 16:37:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21323320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angelicat2/pseuds/Angelicat2
Summary: Prequel to 'White and Red Lines' in my Lines series.Keith's day starts out terrible, waking to a nightmare of the past. The day only gets worse and worse from there.
Relationships: Keith & Pain, Keith & Shiro (Voltron), Keith/Shiro (Voltron), Minor Adam/Shiro
Series: Lines [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1452487
Kudos: 121





	Lines in Skin and Soul

**Author's Note:**

> Mind the tags.

Keith woke up drenched in sweat, shaking rapidly with fear and disgust. He could practically feel something pressing him down to the bed, squeezing a large hand over his throat as he tried to get air. He felt the vomit hit the back his mouth as something pushed inside him. He wanted to scream. He wanted to get away. 

He was going to die. It hurt and he couldn't breathe and he couldn't shout because there was a hand choking him as he silently called out. His thighs were beginning to burn as bruises formed like ink on a page. He couldn’t be sure, but it felt like something wet was sliding down his skin there.

It took a long time to come back to himself. By the time he did, he realized that he had both managed to sleep in late enough to miss his first class and barfed all over his sheets in the night. Fuck. It was the one thing he always ended up doing when the nightmares came. Get battered by bad memories only to wake to smelly puke at his side, throat burning as badly when he actually had gotten choked.

He felt disgusting and used. He could still feel grimly hands crawling over his skin, making him shiver as he crossed his arms. Today was going to be one of those days. Keith already didn't want to get out of bed. He could feel himself sinking into that dark mindset as he laid there. It was heavier today than it had been in awhile, nightmares more active lately. He didn’t have the energy to even bother getting up today.

Keith laid there, likely falling back asleep again. Time past at a blur like it tended to. A minute felt like an hour and an hour a minute. A loud knock on his door startled him awake as Keith forced his eyes to open. 

"Get up, cadet!" The hallway monitor shouted from the door before another bang rang out. Oh, right...he had to get up and go to school...do normal stuff...try to function...be normal…fuck, he had no energy still...his head was still where he didn’t want it to be...maybe he should just go back to sleep...call in sick today…

But that would mean risking getting another write-up. Any more of those, and he’d be kicked out of here, sent back to the foster system. Right back to the very people who crawled in his nightmares, the ones who had violated him so many times while everyone looked the other way.

Another bang brought him out of his head as he huffed before he rolled to the edge of the bed, clumsily swaying to his feet. Staring at his mess, he winced as he grabbed the blankets, making sure not to touch the vomit on it. Stripping the bed, he got everything set up before putting the sheets to the side, for them to be washed. Getting dressed took a lot of effort, and he didn’t bother to put on his Garrison outfit. Instead he chose to wear his grey t-shirt and black pants.

At least he had a hoverbike ride with Shiro today. Time with Shiro was usually always good. The older never looked down at him, he never judged, and he seemed to _like_ spending time with him. That was something new. No one in his life had just been there for him, not since his pops. Everyone wanted something from him, whether it be his possessions or his body or his mind. And Keith...was exhausted and haunted…

He somehow made to his second class...only to get yelled at by the teacher who immediately noticed he wasn’t wearing his cadet clothes. After a long minute of ridicule, the man turned back to his class, going on as if hadn’t happened. Keith curled into his chair, feeling heavy weight on his shoulders settle there. Why was he even here? Why had he come to class? Of course the teachers were all going to get mad at him because he wasn’t in his cadet wear. Everyone here hated him…

Keith didn’t pay attention to the rest of the class. He couldn’t when his thoughts were swirling with such negative emotions. He should have stayed in bed...he felt so drained…

He almost missed the bell. Not two minutes later, he was stumbling through the halls, trying to ignore the whispers and glares of students around him. Normally, he wouldn’t care...they weren’t important in his life. They never would be. But today…

“God, he’s so arrogant.”

“Emo boy, being all emo.”

“Bet he’s too egotistical to even talk to any of us...such a jerk.”

“He’s cheating.”

“I bet he does services for the teachers.”

“I heard that he lets them fuck him for the good grades-”

Keith felt the pit of darkness grow at the statements. Anger coursed through his veins, blocked by an even more intense rush of fear and disgust. His skin was itching like bugs were crawling on it, and he was ready to actually go back to bed. Lunch wasn’t any better as the hollow numbness in his chest grew. He couldn’t eat. Hands pressed to his throat. To his sides. To his stomach. They invaded lower and lower, until Keith could barely breathe. He wanted to cry but no tears would come. 

So he skipped his next class. If he could make it to Shiro’s promised hoverbike ride in an hour, he’d be fine. It would cheer him up, make him forget the past. Maybe a quick shower would make him feel a little more like himself…

And then he ran right into Adam when he was almost there. The older looked him over with confused brows before glancing at the time, raising a brow. Keith avoided looking at him as he tried to step by, hoping the older wouldn’t say anything...hoping he wouldn’t go find Shiro to tattle on him for not being in class. 

No such luck…

“Why aren’t you in class, Keith?”

“I don’t know…” Keith still refused to stare at the other, instead looking at the white floor. The older was silent for a moment before he sighed with deep disappointment in his voice, as if he expected Keith to get in trouble...of course he did...everyone did...

"What does Takashi even see in you?" 

Keith sighed silently as pain spiked in his chest. He wondered that all the time. Out of the thousands of people here, Shiro was the only one keeping him here. Everyone else wanted him gone, and Keith...was tired...he didn’t want to fight this anymore. He was tired of pushing against everyone. He was sick of the rumors and lies. He hated it here where no one cared...and he hated the foster homes worse. He wouldn’t go back. The home was just as bad. No one cared, no one liked him….he was done.

Walking by the other, he numbly strolled into the shower area. He couldn’t hear anyone in there, but he didn’t care if anyone was. His whole body...his mind...his soul hurt. It felt like someone had ripped out something vital within him...like his feelings had been cut off. Like there was a knife in his chest that was being wedged deeper in every time someone said something. And that blade was currently right in his heart.

Turning the water on, he sat beneath it. Maybe the warmth would make him feel better…

But it didn’t. He didn’t feel warm or cold...just numb. So numb…

What did Shiro even see in him? Some dumb helpless kid who needed someone there? Some kid who was just too worked up over everything? Some kid who was good at flying but sucked at everything else? God...did Shiro even like him? Was he just tolerating him like everyone else did? What if he actually hated Keith but just...never let him know? Was he pretending? Was Keith even worth his attention? 

Keith glared down at his wrists, feeling nothing. He didn’t know why he was here if he was so hated. He didn’t know why he was here if all he lived for were past memories and recurring nightmares and the lies and the pain. Nobody cared at all…

Feeling inside his pant leg, he quickly brought out one of the kitchen knives he had snuck out with. He always felt safer if he had a blade on him, for protection if he needed it. He didn’t want his dad’s dagger taken away, so this was the next best thing…

And it was probably a good thing. He didn’t want to taint one of the last things of his pop’s. Taking the knife, he dragged it across his wrist, watching as it bit into his flesh, scarlet pooling to the surface before going down the drain. The scars from his past cutting sat heavy on his arms to his elbows, but he didn’t stop…

There was no point in stopping…

He spaced out after that. The knife sliced through his wrists so deeply that the blood was rushing out of the wounds. Even when he felt light-headed, he didn’t stop. He didn’t feel cold or warm...just nothing as he started to slide into the blankness waiting for him. At least he wouldn’t bother anyone anymore…

And then someone was talking. Keith ignored the familiar voice as he tried to go to sleep. It hurt less if he slept, provided that he didn’t have a nightmare. And something told him he wouldn’t have to worry about nightmares ever again. Or anything ever again…

“Got you...hold on...stay with me.”

Keith gazed up, just barely cracking his eyes open. He didn’t know where he was but he could see silver grey eyes staring at him in worry and dread. Those eyes were so...Keith knew them...but he didn’t know where from. Maybe they were his dad, coming to get him. He missed him. He was so...so...exhausted…

He slid back into his sleep as the voice disappeared, fading away.


End file.
